Agony Aunt Agathe

Estimator is there for all readers, including the troubled ones. Whenever you have a problem, write to and Agathe will provide you with the best advice! You can also contact us via Facebook: FAECTOR's Estimator (

Dear readers,

Your Auntie Agathe has been hibernating during these cold months, but I have prematurely come out to help some poor souls who I suspect could do with a bit of hibernation themselves.

The key is a great chat-up line

The Valentine's Day article readers sent emails about

Our first issue is rather an awkward one. My employers at the Estimator Committee recently published an article for Valentine's Day, indicating that help could be sought from my nephew, Mr. Love, for lonely hearts. This article was actually part of The Waffle, a satirical magazine issued by the Estimator. Nevertheless, there were some lonely hearts who were signed up by friends, indicating that they were in need of some help. To keep these people anonymous I won't include their real names but, for now, let's call them Kars from Lempen, Stuart Beardman, Ouc Loudenes, Rijs from Gooij. Although it was a satirical article, the Estimator has taken pity on you and called on your Aunt Agathe to give you some advice.

So it seems you have an issue with the ladies. From experience back in the 40's, the key to being able to pull when you're lacking a bit of confidence is a great chat-up line. "Hey baby, what do you study?" worked on me once at one of FAECTOR's amazing post-exam drinks. Furthermore, I have noticed that many ladies in FAECTOR committed to another. Not to worry, Manuel Neuer is the best goalkeeper in the world but Lionel Messi still chipped him, all it requires is a little perseverance. I hope this first free lesson can guide the way and help you solve some of your problems.

Another letter came in from a distressed FAECTOR active member who endured days of suffering after what she thought would be an enjoyable dinner party.

I trusted the chefs, two tall, blonde Dutch guys, but it turned out I had laid my faith in the wrong hands.

Dear Agony Aunt,

On the 4th of February I took part in the FAECTOR active members Cycling Dinner. I thoroughly enjoyed it and got to know a lot of people better, that was until the dessert round, however. I had just had a lovely main meal and was ready for something sweet. I trusted the chefs, two tall, blonde Dutch guys, but it turned out I had laid my faith in the wrong hands. The dessert was a large cake which had been well presented to mask the evil that lay within. I think it took about 6 days before I could finally go to the toilet without taking some food with me as to not to get hungry. The worry is that I don't know if it was done on purpose or if these guys just can't cook, but I have had a very traumatic experience and don't know what to do about it.

My dear, you poor, poor thing. These idiots clearly have something wrong with them, whether they meant to 'poison' their dessert or they just don't know how to bake a cake. Throughout my years, I can definitely say that I have experienced some of the things you have gone through, however, you know how they say, better out than in. As they also say, revenge is a dish best served cold, so it may be that they were getting revenge for something you did to them. Either way, I definitely think you should fight fire with fire. Vendetta!

About this article

Written by:
  • Emrys Komen
| Published on: Feb 23, 2016